My experience with overcoming setbacks
Defeat, shifting focus and moving from professional athlete to approaching my sport professionally.
Before starting to write this article, I paused to reflect on my own history as an athlete. It has been a long time since I have strived to be elite. In fact, September 2013 was it. As far as final races go, the Montreal Grand Prix, Canada’s premier cycling race-which attracts some of the world’s top-level riders, wasn’t a bad venue to bow out.
It’s important to qualify that I was never one of the world’s best and my relationship with elite-level cycling was tumultuous. I had to learn how to live a balanced life, accept my physical abilities including my shortcomings and learn to manage pressure when poor performances can lead directly to unemployment. As I pulled over to the curb for my last ever race I did so with a calm understanding that this was the right time to stop; I had achieved what I could, and I was proud of that. My abilities and hard work led me to a few years of professional cycling and a handful of appearances for the Canadian national team. I placed on the podium of the Canadian National Championships and raced alongside some of the world’s top cyclists. It took me a lot of mental development to get to a point where I could simultaneously be ambitious with my sport, be proud of my achievements and accept my shortcomings. It is this development that helps me now as I strive to balance my life and still aim to perform athletically.
As a young cyclist, I was extremely ambitious and confident in my abilities. Competing in the cycling’s premier events such as the Tour de France was only a matter of time, I thought. Fast forward 7 years and I was mentally and physically exhausted. I was not hitting the marks I had hoped for and instead of re-adjusting my goals I just dug in deeper. Training loads increased, dieting (a big part of the cycling culture at the time) became stricter, and most damagingly I reduced my academic pursuits and social life to nil; anything to get ahead. I was completely unbalanced as a human being and for the most part miserable. Something needed to change.
In my case that meant walking away from the sport at the age of 22. For three years I explored life and strived to create an identity outside of cycling. I went back to school, I worked, I travelled (just for fun) and I enjoyed a summer’s day at the beach without the pressure of training or weight loss. It was glorious yet part of me still missed the rigour of elite cycling.
I just was not 100% sure how to do it: Could I combine my new life with the old? Could I find balance? Did I still have the physical ability? Those were the questions I tried to find answers to when in 2010 I decided to re-start my cycling career with the idea of becoming a professional athlete while also maintaining my identity outside of sport.
This would turn out to be my biggest challenge. The first step was re-defining what success meant for me. After my earlier experiences in the sport, I knew racing the Tour de France or winning one of the biggest races in Europe was not possible. I had to set a new realistic goal. With the help of more experienced cyclists, I reflected on this question, and I set myself an objective of racing the Tour of California. For those that don’t know the Tour of California was North America’s biggest multi-day cycling event and a steppingstone to more prestigious races for the world’s best. It attracted top teams from Europe and a handful of the best teams from North America. For me, this would become my new, much more realistic Tour de France. Not to win it but simply compete there.
The second step was about putting anchors into my life that ensured I didn’t lose important elements of who I was. Very practically I put days into my calendar that were set aside for things other than training. I had a new relationship, and I didn’t want to lose the person by becoming consumed by my sport. Time together was precious, and I was determined to keep that up. I also kept up with school, working away on university courses online. The different stimuli brought new challenges and a welcomed respite. Friendships also took on new importance as well as I strived to show up and be present with those I cared about.
Perhaps most importantly though I had to learn how to deal with setbacks. We all have been there whether in working life or in our hobby. We set a goal and when the time comes, we don’t hit the mark. It hurts. In fact, it can hurt so much it stops us from trying again or equally as damaging self-sabotaging the potential for success. In cycling terms, this can take the form of blaming the equipment, other teams’ tactics or downplaying the importance of the event to us. It takes a brave and mature person to say out loud: I really care, I tried hard, and I didn’t meet the mark.
What I came to learn, however, is that to grow one must holistically process defeat. This means developing an ability to admit to oneself: I care, and I didn’t achieve my goal. This hurts way more but it is an honest reflection and allows for the pain to be processed and for the person to move on. I had to learn and re-learn this countless times. I tried to win the Canadian national championships but the best I could do was 3rd; I tried to get selected for the Tour of California and missed the selection twice before eventually making the team; I dreamt of racing professionally in Europe, but I didn’t have the physical and mental durability for it. As hard as it was, I faced those setbacks, processed them, and as a result in September 2013 I was able to hold my head up high when I pulled over from my last race.
Coming back to cycling with a new level of maturity and perspective was the best sporting decision I made. I reflected on my talents and limits to them; accepted them and set realistic goals. I had learnt who I was as a whole person, and I maintained a connection to ‘the entire me.’ I had also developed a way of accepting defeat that was honest and allowed me to move on.
If you are striving to make the next steps in your athletic career but are struggling under the mental weight of the effort reach out. I would be happy to hear more about your sport and you as an individual. Together we could explore who the ‘whole you’ is and see if areas of your life are out of balance or need some support. The amazing thing is that once the body and mind align mental health and physical performances will improve. With a Master of Counselling Psychology and as a former professional cyclist I believe I have both the academic and life experience to help you find a holistic path forward.
We all get stuck in life and sometimes it requires outside eyes to help re-frame and re-focus us. Feel free to book now for a free 15-minute consultation call to see if we can find a path towards a more calm mental landscape and improved athletic performance.
